Earlier this year, I listened to a Super Soul Conversation podcast episode featuring a Brene Brown discussion on the "Anatomy of Trust" (start at 11 minutes and 40 seconds).
There were times in my life when I would broadly say "I don't trust her/him/them", but really that wasn't specific enough.
Brene Brown states "when we trust, we are braving connection with someone," meaning there are boundaries, reliability, accountability, vault, integrity, non-judgement, and generosity . Her breakdown of trust (BRAVING) resonated with me and gave me the words I needed to describe my feelings.
These definitions gave me the language I needed to communicate what part of trust was violated by others. I've reflected on current and past relationships and now use this language to help me navigate situations.
As I reflected more on the "Anatomy of Trust" discussion and how I wanted to write about it in the newsletter, I realized that I focused on only one part of her conversation; the external part. I didn't focus on her discussion of the internal. I forgot that she spoke about self-trust. I was so focused on other people and how I perceived them to treat me, that I forgot to reflect on how I treat myself.
I looked at each part of BRAVING and reflected on how I treated myself. I realized that the issues I was having externally, stemmed from my internal battles. I noticed the areas I could improve upon when it came to trust in myself. When you love and trust yourself, outside influences have less of an impact.
When I reflect on the idea of who to trust, I think of the clusters of people that I discuss various topics with and now, I remember to include myself. To include myself means to listen to my inner voice. The more I listen to the inner voice, the stronger it gets, and something about that is reassuring.
As I reflect more on what it means to have external and internal trust on all levels, I try to be gentle with myself.
Growth takes practice and courage. Looking within is transformational, professionally and personally.
What do you think of BRAVING connections? Who do you trust? Do you place more trust externally or internally?
 BRAVING Definition Source: Brene Brown